Logan Paul Needs EI

Girl using mobile phone for texting or SM with and angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other meant to illustrate the importance of EI or emotional intelligence

EI or Emotional Intelligence is critical in the modern world. One ill-judged comment really can bring your whole world crashing down around you. It certainly did for Logan Paul.

I just read an interesting article on the BBC news channel today which highlights the importance of EI. It recounts the drama unfolding on the internet regarding the ill-conceived comments made by one Logan Paul, a quote “American You Tube star,” and the ensuing online backlash.

I confess I have not watched the video myself – life is too short and I’m too busy – so I am not making any judgements or criticisms of any kind about the actual content or the associated discussions. It is easy to throw accusations and blame around and I’m not above dropping the odd rick now and again myself.

What is fascinating to me here is the lack of EI displayed by Logan Paul when posting this video. What was he thinking? He, and apparently the people who advise him, failed to consider the potential upset the video may have caused others when he sent it to 15 million subscribers. I suspect he is not alone in his misery. I have dropped myself in the proverbial many times throughout my life via poorly judged comments and statements. We all do it from time to time. I am better able to learn from my mistakes nowadays.

What can you and I, and Logan Paul if he ever reads this, do to reduce the likelihood of making such mistakes in the future?

In its barest essence, EI comprises four parts:

  • Understanding of self
  • Regulation of self
  • Understanding of others
  • Managing relationships with others

After much research and experiential wound licking. I always recommend running a pre-flight check of any message before you deliver it.

Let’s apply a potential thought experiment to the Logan Paul scenario (hypothetical of course but it illustrates the process).

Understanding of self – Logan likely understands himself well enough. He knows what he likes and gathers like-minded people around him. This displayed self-knowledge and willingness to share with the world is likely to have contributed to him having 15 million followers in the first place. So far so good. Tick number one for the understanding of self.

Regulation of self – the wheels are wobbling a bit here. Logan needs to put out material for his channel which his audience will enjoy. He has clearly been doing a reasonable job so far. The problem for Logan this time is he has failed to separate what he feels is suitable from what his audience thinks is suitable. What he thinks is personal of course but not all of what he thinks is suitable for sharing. This box should have a tentative cross in it or at the very least a question mark. If he felt world would genuinely benefit from this message he could have tested the waters with some trusted people outside of his crew to get a go or no-go decision.

Understanding of others – this is where the rot should have stopped and would have done if he had run such a pre-flight check. Logan must have felt he had a solid handle on how his followers think. This was clearly not the case. He stomped all over untested ground and fell into the quicksand of outrage. There are certain broadcasters who specialise in dark or risky material. People know this and either love them or loathe them. It appears here, however, that Logan sprung this ego-driven nugget of self-satisfying material on an unsuspecting audience. They likely feel let down and misunderstood as much as simply outraged by the content. Test your material gently and get to know your audience limits before dropping bombshells. There should be a cross in this box and a no broadcast decision to follow.

Managing relationships with others – now an ongoing saga. Due to his lack of audience understanding, poor old Logan has mishandled his relationship with them. I believe he has apologised but for Logan getting through this will be a big test of his character and mental toughness. This avoidable phase is now a work in progress and it will be interesting to see what happens over the next few weeks. Perhaps I’ll put out a part two.

Why not consider running your own EI pre-flight check for all your messages? With practice and diligence, it can become a positive habit and, when it becomes a habit, you’ll find it happens almost instantly for you.

Don’t do a Logan Paul. Your pre-flight EI check could save you a world of hurt.

Here is the BBC video link if you’d care to watch:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-42538495

 

 

Goal-setting the WACKY way

WACKY goal-setting graphic man holding elephant above his headWhy WACKY goal-setting?

If you’re going to use goal-setting in your life then you might as well set big ones. I recommend making them as WACKY as possible. The WACKY’er the better in fact!

Goals and goal-setting are fundamental tools for personal and organisational development. After all, how can you know you have achieved something or even improved your situation at all if you have no target or benchmark to work from?

SMART Goals

SMART goal-setting is the most common business goal-setting tool. Acronyms are very common in the business world and SMART goals are generally taken to be goals which are Specific, Measurable & Motivating, Aligned, Reachable or Relevant and Time Driven. This is all well and good in the business world where by and large people want a stretch but not too much of a stretch. The consequences of failure in the modern business world are often high so the taking of chances is not encouraged by many managers. I personally view this as a huge deficiency in many organisations. Permission to try and to fail (and therefore to learn) is not usually given. A whole raft of articles could be written on the reluctance to embrace failure for growth and I’m sure I’ll write one or two more soon enough.

SMART goal-setting doesn’t always mean smart goals

Many people, through their experience at work, are familiar and comfortable with the SMART goal-setting approach. If they form any personal goals at all, they are likely to design SMART goals. When the same timidity and safety driven approach applies to personal goals they are weak, provide a small stretch only and are not that motivating. Are these goals being achieved? If they are being achieved, are they rocking your or anyone else’s world? My answer to both questions is NO!!

Am I completely against SMART goal-setting? Actually, no I’m not. They have their place and work well for tasks that form stages or sub-goals within a big WACKY goal.

Think Bigger

When pursuing goals in your life make them big. Make them huge, awesome, life-changing, jaw-dropping, pulse quickening goals that are worth your effort and time. Aim for the stars – even if you come up short you will still have had a hell of a ride and be higher than most everyone else. You will have learnt valuable lessons and be more than motivated to try again. In my opinion it is far better to regret the things you’ve done than live a life regretting the ones you didn’t try.

My WACKY goal-setting manifesto

This is how I do it – using the catchy acronym WACKY. Catchy acronyms stick in your mind and you can access them easily. Hopefully you’ll then use it all the time and spread the message to others.

I really want people thinking my personal goals are totally WACKY – that’s great. It means they will likely be the goals that others may not have thought of.  I want goals which scare others .  I want to stretch myself – that’s the only way to grow and develop as a person and be able to help others more effectively. That’s always been my driving force. Partial failure of one of my WACKY goals will often be better than most people’s mediocre SMART goals – I’ll learn loads of good stuff and be that much closer to where I want to be. I also take my time to form them and that way I get the real honest “from the heart” stuff – it works for me and it could work for you.

These WACKY goals are generally my over-arching long-range life goals so they will certainly contain lots of mini-goal stages – that’s fine – many small (SMART) steps will add up to a huge WACKY journey. It all makes life very interesting.

WACKY goal-setting defined

So let’s get going with what WACKY means to me.

Wonderful

WACKY goals are wonderful. They are full of wonder. I want filling with wonder, otherwise what’s the point? It has to be something that makes my imagination work hard. I want it to play on my mind and draw me on down that road less travelled.

Animating

WACKY goals fire me up. They get me raring to go. No fire up and no raring to go means I’ll find a better goal instead. I want my pulse to quicken when I think about it. I want to talk with animation when I talk to my nearest and dearest. It must create amazement and passion.

Colossal

I make it big, bigger and bigger again. If it doesn’t make me stop and think “hold the phone, that’s big even by my standards – people will think I’m mad” then I rethink it and just make it bigger. I make it a huge hairy-arsed goal that if achieved will make me think “Yeah, that was a good one”. If people saw my goal in the street they would cross the road to avoid it – it will be a kick-butt ferocious slavering monster of a goal.

Killer

I try to make it undeniably unique and special; when achieved it will be well worth the sacrifice and effort. I try always to be a trend setter and not a follower – I therefore try to set grand goals that I and others have not yet achieved.

Yours

I have to own my goal with my heart and soul. It’s personal. I’ll pour huge energy into it – failure is not an attractive option. For example, roller skating backwards up Everest is just not my chosen WACKY goal. However, being the best and highest paid professional coach in the world is. My goals have to be my goals and your goals have to be your goals. I’ve learnt over the years to pick goals that really do chime with my core values. My values as an individual and a unique human being are super important.

Over to you

That’s it. This technique of goal-setting has taken me years of study and searching. I’ve worked hard to learn more and refine it. It’s still a work in progress because it is a life-long challenge. No one said it would be easy did they? I urge you therefore to use SMART for the small things but be WACKY for the important ones.

Try and design some of your own WACKY goals for your life. They will take you to some wonderful places.

I hope you enjoyed this article and found it useful. If you did then please like it and share it. Every little bit helps in internet land.