This article is all about the concept of the cognitive reframe and what it means to you and your emotional intelligence.
Better yet it outlines practical ways to develop your skills and master the power of the reframe for yourself.
The Power of Perspective
You’ve probably heard the phrase “it’s all about perspective” so many times it’s lost all meaning.
The interesting thing is that it’s not just a cliché. It’s one of the most powerful thinking tools you have for taking control of your life.
In one of my previous articles, “’Stinking Thinking’ Must Go,” I looked at how your negative thought patterns can wear you down and damage your self-esteem.
I identified the problem along with some tips but now it’s time to really dive deep and do something about it with a fully built out practical methodology.
The solution isn’t to pretend everything is fine when it isn’t. It’s not about positive or wishful thinking in the saccharine, Pollyanna, unrealistic sense.
It is about “reframing” which is taking a situation, thought, or belief and deliberately looking at it from a different (and ideally more useful) angle.
It’s about finding a more useful, more accurate, and more empowering way to interpret what’s happening.
Think of it like this:
If you’re looking at a photograph through a grimy piece of frame glass, it looks dull and uninspiring. Clean the frame glass, and suddenly the same photograph looks vibrant and full of life. The Photograph hasn’t changed but the way you’re looking at it has.
Reframing is just like cleaning the picture frame glass.
So, what exactly is a reframe?
A reframe is the cognitive process of taking a situation, event, or thought and consciously shifting how you interpret it.
It’s not about denying reality or lying to yourself.
It is about recognising that most situations have multiple valid interpretations and choosing the one which serves you best.
The ancient Stoic philosopher Epictetus understood this principle centuries ago. He said, “Men are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them.” This insight is the philosophical foundation for everything we’re going to discuss in this article. Therefore, your circumstances don’t determine your emotional state. Your interpretation of your circumstances does.
Here’s a practical example. Imagine you’re working on a project, and your manager gives you some seemingly critical feedback.
Now, your immediate thought might be: “I’m terrible at this. I’m going to get fired. I’m a complete failure.”
That’s stinking thinking in action. More specifically it’s catastrophising, mind-reading and self-labelling all rolled into one.
But here’s the reframe:
“My manager cares enough about this project to give me detailed feedback. This means I now have the information I need to improve. I’m learning.”
Same situation. Completely different interpretation. And crucially, the second interpretation is more accurate and more useful.
Why a reframe works and the science behind it
Your brain is essentially a prediction machine. It’s constantly scanning your environment, looking for patterns, and making predictions about what’s going to happen next. When you experience something, your brain doesn’t just record it neutrally—it interprets it based on your existing beliefs, past experiences, and current emotional state.
This is where the mind-body connection comes in again. Your interpretation of an event directly influences your emotional response, which then influences your physical state and your behaviour. Therefore, change the interpretation, and you change the entire cascade.
Albert Ellis, the influential American psychologist who gave us the concept of “stinking thinking,” developed what’s known as the ABC model of emotional response. Ellis’s work, particularly his development of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT), showed that our emotional distress doesn’t come directly from events themselves, but from how we interpret those events.
The ABC model works like this:
A = Activating event (what happens)
B = Belief (how you interpret it)
C = Consequence (how you feel and behave)
Most people think the consequence is directly caused by the event. But it’s not. It’s caused by your belief about the event. Change B, and you change C.
Hence, reframing is essentially changing B.
And the good news? This isn’t just theory. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which is built on Ellis’s foundational work, has been extensively researched and validated by the American Psychological Association as one of the most effective approaches for treating anxiety, depression, and a wide range of other psychological challenges. The science backs this up.
How does the reframe fit with Emotional Intelligence (EI)?
Being self-aware (EI pillar #1) enough to identify the particular instance of unhelpful thinking then reframing it is a perfect example of self-regulation (EI pillar #2). As your skills develop you can begin to recognise unhelpful or “stinking” thinking in others (EI pillar #3) and even be of help to them in reframing if you’re asked or it is appropriate for you to intervene (EI pillar #4).
That’s all the EI bases covered. Check out my earlier article titled “Emotional Intelligence is Vital” for a deeper insight into Emotional Intelligence or EI.
The OSARP Model is your reframe toolkit
Now, reframing isn’t something that happens by accident. In my experience it’s super-helpful to have and use a and repeatable deliberate process.
This is where the OSARP model comes in.
I introduced this in my stinking thinking article, but it’s worth revisiting here because reframing is where this model really shines.
OSARP stands for:
- Observe – Notice what you’re thinking and feeling
- Stop – Interrupt the automatic thought pattern
- Analyse – Ask yourself some searching questions
- Reframe – Deliberately shift your perspective
- Proceed – Move forward with your new interpretation
Let me walk you through each step with a real-world example.
Step 1: Observe
You’re in a meeting. Your colleague makes a suggestion that’s similar to one you proposed last week. Your immediate feeling is irritation. You notice your jaw tightening and your heart rate increasing slightly.
This is the observation phase. You’re not judging it. You’re not trying to fix it yet. You are simply noticing: “I’m feeling irritated right now.”
This might sound simple, but it’s crucial. Most people skip this step entirely. They feel the emotion and immediately act on it without ever stopping to notice what’s happening.
Emotional intelligence begins with self-awareness. Daniel Goleman, in his groundbreaking work on emotional intelligence, identified self-awareness as the cornerstone of emotional intelligence. You can’t manage what you don’t notice.
Step 2: Stop
You pause. Take a breath. You don’t respond immediately to your colleague. No instant emails and no cutting remarks.
You simply stop.
As a result, this is where you reclaim your personal power.
By stopping, you’re refusing to be driven entirely by your automatic pilot. You’re creating space between the stimulus and your response. This is self-regulation in action.
And in that space, everything becomes possible.
Step 3: Analyse
Now you ask yourself some searching questions:
- Why am I feeling irritated?
- Is my colleague deliberately trying to take credit for my idea?
- Or is it possible they didn’t remember my suggestion?
- Could they have independently come up with a similar idea?
- Is my irritation actually about this situation, or is it about something else entirely?
- What evidence do I have for my interpretation?
- What other interpretations are possible?
Be honest with yourself. This is where you do the real work. Be aware that this can all happen very quickly. You can do a lot of thinking in two or three seconds.
Now, in this case, you might realise, “Actually, my colleague probably didn’t remember my suggestion. We were in a large meeting and I mentioned it briefly. They’re not trying to steal my idea. They just came up with something similar independently. That happens all the time.”
Or you might realise, “I’m irritated because I’ve been feeling overlooked lately, and this just triggered that feeling. It’s not really about this specific situation.”
Or you might realise something else.
Either way, you’ve moved from automatic reaction to conscious analysis.
Step 4: Reframe
Now you deliberately choose a new interpretation. Here are some options:
- “My colleague and I think alike. That’s actually a good sign. It means we’re on the same wavelength.”
- “This is validation that my original idea was sound. Two people independently came up with something similar.”
- “I can build on their suggestion and make it even better. This is a collaboration opportunity.”
- “This has nothing to do with my colleague and everything to do with my own insecurity about being overlooked. I need to work on that separately.”
You can now choose the reframe that feels most true and most useful to you. Not one that denies reality but one that’s accurate and empowering.
Step 5: Proceed
You now move forward with your new interpretation. You might contribute to the discussion, build on your colleague’s idea, or simply let it go and move on to the next agenda item.
The key is that you’re proceeding from a place of choice, not reaction.
You’re in control.
The reframe in practice with some real-world examples
Let me give you a few more examples of reframing in action, because this is where the rubber meets the road.
Example 1: The Rejection
Situation: You apply for a job you really want. You don’t get it.
Stinking thinking: “I’m not good enough. I’ll never get the job I want. I’m destined to be stuck in this role forever.”
Reframe: “This particular job wasn’t the right fit. But the fact that I applied means I’m ready for the next level. I’ve learned what the hiring process looks like. I can apply what I learned to my next application. I’m getting closer.”
Example 2: The Mistake
Situation: You make an error in a presentation in front of senior leadership.
Stinking thinking: “Everyone saw that. They all think I’m incompetent. I’ve ruined my reputation. I should just resign.”
Reframe: “I made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. The fact that I caught it and corrected it shows I’m paying attention. Most people probably didn’t even notice. And if they did, they’ll forget about it by next week. This is a learning opportunity.”
Example 3: The Setback
Situation: A project you’ve been working on for months gets cancelled.
Stinking thinking: “All that work was for nothing. I wasted months of my life. I’m a failure.”
Reframe: “I learned a lot during this project. I developed new skills. I worked with great people. The project didn’t work out, but I did. I’m taking all of that forward to the next thing.”
Notice the pattern? In each case, the reframe isn’t denying the negative aspect of the situation. It’s acknowledging it while also finding the useful, empowering interpretation.
Building Resilience Through Reframing
Here’s something that might surprise you: reframing isn’t just about feeling better in the moment. It’s about building long-term resilience and mental well-being.
Martin Seligman, the founder of positive psychology, has spent decades researching what makes people flourish. His research shows that resilient people aren’t those who avoid adversity. They’re those who can interpret adversity in ways that allow them to learn and grow from it.
In other words, they’re skilled at the reframe game.
When you consistently reframe challenges as learning opportunities rather than threats, something shifts. As a result, your brain literally rewires itself. This is neuroplasticity which is the brain’s ability to form new neural connections throughout life.
Carol S Dweck’s research on mindset shows that people who view challenges as opportunities to develop their abilities (what she calls a “growth mindset”) are more resilient, more motivated, and ultimately more successful than those who view challenges as threats to their fixed abilities.
Reframing is how you can develop a growth mindset.
Every time you reframe a setback as a learning opportunity, you’re literally rewiring your brain to be more resilient.
The reframe does have its limits and why it matters
Here’s something important: reframing isn’t a magic wand.
It doesn’t work if you’re using it to deny reality or to bypass genuine problems.
If you’re in a genuinely toxic situation, e.g. an abusive relationship, a job where you’re being exploited, a situation where your safety is at risk, etc… reframing alone isn’t the answer. You need to take practical action. You need to get out and/or seek professional or legal assistance.
Reframing is a tool for situations where the situation itself is neutral or mixed, but your interpretation is making it worse than it needs to be.
It’s for the situations where you have agency and choice, but you’re not exercising it because of how you’re thinking about things.
Use reframing wisely. Use it to empower yourself. Don’t use it to avoid taking necessary action.
The Reframe Game
Here’s a fun exercise you can do on your own or with friends. Naturally enough, I call it the Reframe Game.
Take any negative situation or thought. Write it down. Then spend five minutes coming up with as many alternative interpretations as you can. Don’t judge them. Don’t worry about whether they’re “true.” Just brainstorm.
For example, if the negative thought is “I’m too old to change careers,” your alternatives might be:
- “I have decades of experience that younger people don’t have.”
- “My age is an asset, not a liability.”
- “I’m making this decision from a place of wisdom and self-knowledge.”
- “People change careers at every age. Age is just a number.”
- “My life experience makes me more resilient and adaptable.”
Now, which of these feels most true and most useful? That’s your reframe.
The beauty of this exercise is that it shows you that there are always multiple ways to interpret any situation. You’re not limited to the first interpretation that pops into your head. You have choices.
Making Reframing a Habit
Like any skill, reframing gets easier with practice. At first, it might feel forced or artificial. In addition, you might feel like you’re lying to yourself. That’s normal. Stick with it.
Here’s how to build the habit:
1. Start small. Don’t try to reframe everything at once. Pick one area of your life where you notice a lot of stinking thinking. Maybe it’s work, relationships, body image, etc… Pick one.
2. Use the OSARP model. Go through each step deliberately. Don’t skip any of them. With practice, you’ll be able to move through the steps faster, but at first, take your time.
3. Write it down. There’s something powerful about writing down your stinking thinking and then writing down your reframe. It makes it more real. It makes it stick.
4. Notice the results. Pay attention to how you feel and how you behave when you reframe versus when you don’t. You’ll start to see the difference. That’s your motivation to keep going.
5. Be patient with yourself. You’ve probably been thinking in certain patterns for years. You’re not going to rewire your brain overnight. But with consistent practice, you will rewire it.
Conclusion: You’re in Control
Here’s the bottom line: you can’t always control what happens to you. But you can control how you interpret it. And that interpretation shapes your emotions, your behaviour, and ultimately, your life.
Reframing isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about taking ownership of your thinking. It’s about recognising that you have agency and choice, even in difficult situations.
The OSARP model gives you a framework for exercising that choice.
Observe. Stop. Analyse. Reframe. Proceed.
With practice, this becomes automatic and you’ll find yourself naturally reframing situations that would have derailed you before.
Thus, you’ll become more resilient, more creative in solving problems and way happier.
And that’s the whole point.
Further Reading & Sources
If you want to dive deeper into the research and theory behind reframing, here are some excellent resources:
Cognitive Reframing & REBT:
- Albert Ellis Institute: https://www.albertellis.org/
- Ellis, A. (1962). Reason and Emotion in Psychotherapy. Lyle Stuart. (The foundational work on the ABC model)
- American Psychological Association on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: https://www.apa.org/science/about/psa/cbt
Neuroplasticity & Growth Mindset:
- Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House. This work explores how our beliefs about our abilities shape our resilience and success.
Emotional Intelligence:
- Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Bantam Books. This connects self-awareness and emotional regulation to overall well-being and success.
Resilience & Flourishing:
- Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. Free Press. This research-based work explores what enables people to thrive, not just survive.
Stoic Philosophy (Ancient Roots):
- Epictetus. Enchiridion (various translations available). Stoicism is the ancient philosophical foundation for modern cognitive reframing.
That is all for this one
I hope you enjoyed this article. If you found value in it, subscribe to the blog. You might also like to check out these related articles:
PS Why not download my FREE OSARP Model Reframing Worksheet pdf and learn to reframe even faster.
PPS If you want more Emotional Intelligence in your life, why not check out my powerful “Develop Your Emotional Intelligence” mini-video course. It’s all free and you can find it here: https://andrewdpope.kit.com/develop-your-eq